What To Do In Memory of a Loved One

Doing something to remember and honor a loved one means that person is not forgotten. As someone once said, 'When a person's name is spoken, their memory is alive.' But for a loved one we can do better than that.

The following are some of the things we can do in memory of a loved one:

- Donations can be made to the favorite charity of the loved one. (My mother had many charities that she donated to so this would be an easy choice).
- A tree can be planted in your own garden in memory of your loved one or donated to their favorite park or visiting spot. (In the case of my father I would plant a Laburnum tree or a snowball bush.)
- A bench can be placed in their honor along a path they enjoyed walking, at the beach or at a park.
- A special garden can be planted in their memory which includes their favorite plants.
- Volunteer at your loved one's favorite charity, i.e.: canvass for the heart and stroke fund, for cancer, for the environment or in support of animals.
- Send up balloons in their memory on a special day, i.e.: their birthday, Valentines Day, an anniversary or on the date of their passing.
- Get a tattoo in their memory (this is not my favorite suggestion).
- Make a pair of their boots into planters, take something special of theirs and use them as bookends or put something important to them in a place of honor.
- Write a story about their life for family and friends. This is a good way of remembering because we forget all too soon those little things that were so important. It also includes others in honoring your loved one.
- Make a life memory scrapbook asking others to donate ideas, etc. to it. Make copies for other family members.
- Make a memorial, i.e.: a garden plaque displaying their name, a garden arbor with their name on it and their favorite flower growing on it or a planter box.
- Create an online memorial website of memories. This is a good opportunity for everyone to get involved. You may also get a new understanding of your loved one when you hear other people's perspective of their relationship.

Some of the above I will do but as a family we are currently planning a huge family picnic at a local park in honor of my mother's birthday. Her birthday was always the highlight of her year. She anticipated and looked forward to each one and even until her last birthday she could hardly wait to open her birthday presents and blow the candles out on her cake. And looking around at her rapidly growing family, she would smile as we sang happy birthday to her. We plan to make it an annual celebration in her memory.

For those of our loved ones we remember and honor, they will live forever. A quote by Thomas Campbell states: 'To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.'

A Family Get-together to Honour Our Loved Ones

This is the first of, I hope, many blogs which will not only give my feelings about our lost loved ones - not only of Gran (Lilias Behnish who recently passed on June 4, 2011 but also of our dearly loved father and grandfather who left our family much too early, more than thirty-five years ago.)

A decision was made to hold an annual birthday party in honor of our mother and grandmother, Lilias Behnish. She enjoyed her birthdays almost more than any child so it is a fitting time to honour and remember her. However on further thought, I think it would be a good idea to include my father, Max Behnish, when we are honouring and remembering those we love. He was a man to be looked up to and certainly an excellent role model for all of us. I could not have had a better father than he was.

For our first get-together as an entire family, we will go to a park (hopefully the weather will co-operate). We haven't quite decided on the park yet, but the date has been made for August 28th. We'll have games and races for the children and some games for those adults who are into it. I also hope to have a Memory Table with pictures,a limited family tree poster (almost a must for a geneologist like Gran) and a guest book. And then hopefully there will be a scrapbook for follow-up which can be added to each year.

As plans progress I will add to the blog to keep everyone apprised of the get-together.